ABOUT ME

Here is my story 

I was a straight A student. I had all of my assignments done a week early. I cried when I got my first B in my Child Development class in college. I got an 88%. For everyone else an 88% is great, for me, at the time, I basically failed the class. 

Does this sound familiar to anyone or is it just me? 

Looking back at my experience this is where my burnout started. I was pushing myself really hard. I was a double major in social work and psychology, doing an internship for social work, working a retail job, and doing Polish Folk dancing, while maintaining a 3.9 GPA. Sounds like a lot, right? I was an overachiever, so for me that was normal. Also, my anxiety was through the roof. I was a tight ball of anxiety, all the time.

So…

During my junior year I developed chronic pelvic pain (I know, might feel like TMI, but it is relevant to the story later, I promise!). No wonder I developed chronic pain with how much I was pushing myself. I went from doctor to to doctor trying to figure out what the heck was happening to me and my body. 

I received every diagnosis under the sun, had every scan of my body. The result: everything was NORMAL. 

Many years passed until I learned that I had something called TMS aka mind body syndrome. The pain was caused by suppressed emotions and a crazy dysregulated nervous system. Personality traits of someone that has TMS: 

• Overachiever 

• Perfectionist

• People pleasing 

• Anxiety, fear, stress 

• Goodism 

If you couldn’t tell, the TMS personality traits were me and I am working on this everyday! I learned that if we don’t feel our feelings or our bodies and we are in survival mode for a very long time, eventually it comes out, and for most people it comes out as physical chronic debilitating pain. 

The cycle continued as I started working as a social worker after I received my Masters of Social Work. I worked at my first community mental health agency (which is extremely difficult with low income clients with severe mental health diagnoses) and worked long hours doing group and individual therapy while my pain was at a 10/10 every single day. I pushed through the pain so that I could obtain my 3,000 clinical hours to obtain my Licensed Clinical Social Worker license. 

I became so burnt out and the pain was so high I ended up going to a clinic in California for the pelvic pain for two weeks and when I came back I quit my job. I had to make a really hard decision to put myself first. 

Fast forward to my last job at a private practice. I have my LCSW license and I am not working in community mental health. My caseload became so large I was seeing anywhere from 25-30 clients a week!

This particular experience at my last job made me really evaluate my life and career. I was so burned out not only from the physical pain but from seeing that many clients for over a year. I had a regular client that was sitting in front of me and I had this thought during session: “I dont give a f*** about what you are saying right now”. I remember the fear and shock that came over me. At that moment I knew it was not safe for me to be in that room not only with that client, but with clients in general. (I was also seeing that many clients because I wanted to hit my RIDICULOUS bonus set by my practice). Knowing what I know now, it was not worth it. 

I ended up taking some time off and intuitively I knew that taking time off was not enough. This was a bigger issue that I was dealing with. I got to a point where I was coming home every night in excruciating pain (anywhere from 9-10) and taking Klonopin every single night to dull the pain to sleep. My body was SCREAMING at me and I wasn’t listening. This went on for months. I was miserable. I was beyond exhausted. I was depressed and anxious. I did not have a social life. I barely saw friends and family. I did not engage in hobbies. I hated my life.

And then like a ton of bricks I hit a wall and I said: “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH”. I will not sacrifice myself, my mind, and my body for this job. “If nothing changes, nothing changes. If you keep doing what you're doing, you're going to keep getting what you're getting. You want change, make some.”

― Courtney C. Stevens, The Lies about Truth

With the help of my coach by my side, I quit my job. (She knew from the beginning of us working together I would quit my job). 

I made a courageous decision to put myself first. Then, I took 6 months to work with two different coaches to regulate my nervous system and to lower the pain. Quitting my job was the best and hardest thing that I could have done for myself. 

I came home to myself and to my body that was screaming at me desperately trying to get my attention. I was abandoning her. I finally listened to her and to what she needed. She needed rest, boundaries, relationships/friendships, hobbies, and exercise. She needed safety and that is what I gave her. 

With some structured help and guidance, your own “formula” of skills, and a little bit of bravery, you can make some changes that can lift the burden of burnout and start to create safety for yourself. 

You can gain insight into the changes that you need to make in your life to decrease what is on your plate in order to learn the lifelong skills you need to heal your nervous system. You can learn to quiet that protective part of you that is telling you that you can’t or that you are selfish for putting yourself first.

You can decide to do this for yourself. What other option do you have?

As Nicole Sachs, LCSW says: “Life is the difference between what hurts and what hurts more”. 

You only have you for the rest of your life. 

How do you want to live it? 

Come home to yourself. She is waiting for you. 

Some fun facts about me: 

• I am 100% Polish. I am first generation Polish. I speak Polish fluently.

• I used to do Polish Folk dancing from the age of 5 to 20. 

• I have traveled to China, Hungary, and Poland for International Polish Folk Dancing Festivals. 

• The beach is my HAPPY PLACE. You’ll catch me on the beach for hours collecting seashells. On my last trip I found a starfish!! 

• My favorite animals are dolphins! I have had the opportunity to swim with them twice and I almost passed out from excitement. 

• My favorite color is aquamarine. 

• In the last 6 months I have taken up crocheting and I crochet cute little animals. It’s so therapeutic! 

• I am super passionate about everything healthy and natural! I read the back of ingredient labels for food and I am slowly starting to change things in my home to be chemical and fragrance free. 

• I have three beautiful nieces. They are my entire world. 

• For my golden birthday I traveled to Machu Picchu and hiked 17,000 feet above sea level to Rainbow mountain. One of the hardest things that I have done in my entire life! 

• I love adventure! Trying new activities, restaurants, and traveling. 

• I love doing diamond art. It’s super soothing and creative! 

• I am fully committed to my healing journey (as I am still on it!) and I hope I can help you with yours. It would be a privilege and an honor. 

Gabby is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Somatic Experiencing Practitioner with over 8 years of clinical experience helping women through burnout, anxiety, depression, stress, and trauma. 

Through her coaching services Gabby helps burnout anxious high achieving women identify areas of burnout to create more choices in their lives and increase their capacity for stress. She helps women clear out burnout so that they can learn the skills and tools to regulate and heal their nervous systems. 

Gabby has a bachelors in social work and psychology, masters in social work, and her somatic experiencing practitioner certificate for somatic therapy. She has helped hundreds of women in her clinical practice change their relationship with burnout and teaches practical tools for nervous system healing, while continuing to do her own healing work.